Feelings

As Josh's graduation day approaches, I am finding myself overwhelmed with my feelings. I have such mixed emotions. He will go into the military and I will be stuck here finishing up high school without him. Thank God I have my sister and Courtney with me. I've come to the realization that he may not be here for the baby's birth, that saddens me. It's times like this when I begin to question my decisions. What have I done? What am I losing? How will I cope? I am beginning to feel the need to tell my sister now. Not a desire, but a need. I've excluded her for too long from something so big. I will tell her today after my doctor appointment. The depression is once again rearing its ugly head. I tell it to go away. Maybe I just need to sleep. I haven't had much sleep.



I'm getting ready to go to school and then I have my doctor appointment to find out how the baby is doing. Then I will tell my sister. Baby Steps, right?