Thursday, June 14, 2007
Not a secret anymore
My parents know. I have to say though that I do feel a certain shame. It's hard to look my mom and dad in the eye, especially my dad. I somewhat thought that once I told them and they processed it, everything would eventually be ok. I still hope it will be. There is an odd silence around the house too and Carly is acting like she's mad. My parents said we will work through it, but I can't help but wonder exactly what they are thinking. I called about a possible living situation in a maternity home and talked to a woman named Sue. Maybe it's best that I leave here for a while. I don't know what to do.
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4 comments:
give them time to let it sink in. and dont make any rash decisions about moving away.
Do not, under any circumstances, enter any maternity home. ESPECIALLY any run by Florence Crittenton. Seek out assistance from others who have been in your shoes but do NOT trust ANYONE from a maternity home. EVER. (And while you're at it, pick up the book "The Girls Who Went Away" by Ann Fessler to read about the ranks of women you plan on joining who also spent time in these "maternity homes." While reading, realize that while things have changed, the ultimate goal of these homes has not. Learn the history before you repeat it yourself. Don't become a statistic without the knowledge behind it. That way you can't say, "I didn't know.")
You need your parents now. You may be afraid of them but they also need you. it is weird to see and most of the teenagers do not but our parents needs us .
You are too early on your pregnancy.
Adoption may not be "the best" for the baby or for you. it is an option but it should be last resort. Not the first one. You will love your baby and please do not rush to find an adoptive family .
You may compare yourself with them and you may not see that you do have things to give to your child.
Oh dear.
You are important for your child.
Keep this in mind.
Always.
Why do you want to live rest of your life feeling empty ? And letting your child wonder "what was wrong with me that my mom did not want me?"
I would not write these if I was talking with a bmom but I am really sorry for most of them. They really deal with lots of emotions and the pain or the emptiness never goes away no matter what.
Do you want this for you and your child?
I just stumbled upon your blog (I hope you don't mind). Telling my parents when I was pg was that hardest thing I had ever done, and I didn't tell them until I was 29 wks! Give them some more time to process. I'm sure they have a lot going through their minds right now.
As for adoption . . . it's your choice. The best anyone can do for you is prepare you for the outcome of your decision. But I don't recommend a maternity home. You need your parents right now. I know that family support is what has gotten me through the hardest times.
If you want to chat let me know! missednote@hotmail.com.
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